Young and Foolish

I know I'm still young.
I know that I live quite a sheltered life, that I haven't know the harsh and bitter part of the world.
I know I'm naive enough to think that life is still full of rainbow and flower, and still believe in the goodness of everybody.
But is it really wrong to think like that?
Is it wrong to believe in the kindness of people?

I know that there are a certain wisdom that comes with age.
As you get older, you see more parts of the world.
You experienced more, and learned more. Hence, the wisdom.

But, do wisdom and knowledge only come to old people?
Can't we the youngster have a wisdom, too?
If we're so naive and foolish, do that mean that we can't make our own decisions?
Is being old means your order is absolute and you don't make mistakes anymore?
Is defying your words means that we, the youngsters, will be damned?
Is it possible that once in a while, we be the right ones and you be the wrong ones?

Sorry for the rambling. These are just some questions that come into my mind when I think about some disagreement that I have with older people. I just got so confused with our culture and the sayings that old people always right. Because, is it true? Does getting old mean that you will be gifted with a definite wisdom where you can not make mistakes or false judgment anymore? Will I get turn into a rock, just like Malinkundang if I try to defied them?

But what if their decisions turned to be a mistake?
What if old people was just a human that still able to make mistakes?
Do they ever think that when they making that decisions for me?
Do they ever think for just a second, that the decision they insisted on me could turn to be a mistakes?
And who will live with that wrong decisions?
Them?
No. It will be me.

Then why don't they just let me live my life?
I know I'm still young.
I know that I never really live for myself.
I don't really know how does it feel to work 24/7 to support your children,
how it feels to pay bills and worry about loans.
I know that I never quite understand why spouses often fight with each other
instead of just learn to accept their decision to marry one another.
I know I still have a lot to learn about life,
and there are no amount of college degree will be sufficient to taught me that.

But that's why I have to make my own decisions.
There will be a lot of mistakes, but that's how I'm going to learn.
I will never know what I really need in life, because that's God job.
But, neither will other people.
And instead of living with other people's decisions, I rather live with mine.
It will be a lot easier to accept your own mistakes, rather than the ones people put into your life.

So, old people. Parents, aunts, uncles, and other beloved old people. Just give enough trust to us, the youngsters, and adopt some humility. There are no absolute truth in this world, no matter how old you are.

Peaceful Contentedness

my mom said that my face was a wide open book of expressions and people can read easily into what i feel at a moment. so, people who see me nowadays, probably can see my peaceful contentedness facial expression :)

peaceful contentedness?

yeah, that's the only words that came into my mind when i try to describe what i feel these days.
just a very peaceful and content state of the mind.
no worry, no afraid, no sadness, nothing.
just peaceful, like i'm floating on a cloud above the ground.
and content, like there's nothing else that i can ask in my life.
i already have what i need and that's all what i want.
that's all what i am asking for.

and now for once, i'm praying that my Ferris wheel will stop circling while i'm still on top, so i can enjoy this beautiful view for a little while longer.
to savor it and memorize it in my mind.
so that when storm days are coming, i know that there are always sunny days like this that made all the bad weathers don't matter.
and in the end of the day, when the wind stop, i'll be back floating above the ground.
Feeling peaceful contentedness all over again :)


so, let's cheers and enjoy all the sunny days while you still can, people :)

Questions Much (?)

there are times when so many thought crossed your head.
and so many questions flying in your mind.

what?
when?
where?
why?
who?
how?

and you can't help yourself, but to start spluttering those words.
because you just need to know.
because sometimes you just want to understand.
and it's a hard thing to do, when all you've got is just glimpse of short pictures.
puzzles that you can't put down together,
when all you're trying to do is getting the whole picture.

and sometimes,
you keep blabbering those questions,
because you wanna get the reciprocity act.
to be told, the way you always trying to tell your part. your life.
because you realize.
about how different it is.
a two very different world with diversities, and not similarities, to unite both.
and so you're trying to sneak a peek.
to get into.
to become a part of something.
something that matters a lot to you.

and that's why so many questions flying by.
because that was the effort.
an effort to make a bridge.
so everyone can cross over conveniently into both of these two worlds.

communicate.

Everlasting stay

"I want the one that stays.
I want the one that lasts through out the time."

-dea-

Gue mau banget deh ini.
Satu yang bertahan, yang tak lekang oleh waktu.
Bukannya menclak-menclok kesana kemari.
Cape juga kan harus selalu memulai prosesnya dari awal lagi, beradaptasi dari awal lagi.
Apa asiknya coba.
maaf saja, saya tidak berbakat jadi nelayan pukat harimau sih.


Ck.

cheers.